


Confessions

by Artem1s81



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Confessions, Gay Sherlock Holmes, Love Confessions, M/M, Sherlock Holmes Loves John Watson
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-22
Updated: 2020-09-22
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:14:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26628847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Artem1s81/pseuds/Artem1s81
Summary: Sherlock and John have a conversation that’s long overdue.
Relationships: Sherlock Holmes & John Watson, Sherlock Holmes/John Watson
Comments: 1
Kudos: 26





	Confessions

**Author's Note:**

> Just an idea I had and decided to turn into a short fic

Sherlock and John are working on a case. They are in a park and John is getting tea. To gather information, Sherlock decides to adopt a persona however he neglects to tell john what this persona will be. 

John makes his way back across the park to Sherlock, both hands full carrying two teas. Sherlock is deep in conversation with a man that John has never met. He hands over one of the teas to Sherlock. He takes it, turns to John, smiles and says “thank you dear.” Before John can question Sherlock kisses him, leaving him speechless.

Turning back to the man in front of them Sherlock says “oh umm, this is my husband John. I did mention him didn’t I? Yes, well we’d better be off now. It was lovely talking to you but places to be, you know?” Sherlock shook the mans hand and walked away. John followed him, still slightly stunned.

Five hours later both of them sat in the flat. Sherlock had not yet offered an explanation. John supposed that Sherlock assumed he did not have to explain. He watched as Sherlock scrolled through is phone intermittently putting it down to think and then picking it back up again. John also did a lot of thinking, an unusual amount of thinking. Actually he’d become so lost in thought that he had failed to notice Sherlock asking him a question. 

“John, John? I said ‘it sounds like a promising lead. What do you think?” 

He had no idea what he thought. He hadn’t been listening for a considerable amount of time now. 

“I know you don’t think I value your input John but I do and today I’ve noticed an unusual lack of input. You’ve barely said a word since…” 

There it was. A look of realisation and then understanding crossed Sherlock’s face.  
“I suppose I should have clarified. That was simply a persona I adopted to improve my chances of gaining information, I didn’t-“ 

“No, I know that.” John let out a sort of laugh though it was not clear why. “I never thought… No I didn’t…” He cleared his throat. “I’m gonna go make some coffee.” He quickly disappeared into the kitchen. 

Sherlock brought his hands together and rested them on his chin. He was almost completely silent except for a slow, rhythmic breathing. Almost completely still except for an occasional twitch of the eyebrows indicative of internal thought. Sitting like this for a while in the quiet (occasionally interrupted by the sound of John opening a cupboard or a draw). Sherlock’s eyes shifted to his friend making coffee in the kitchen. Inhaling slowly and standing up he made his way toward the kitchen door.  
“John…” 

Again that odd sort of laugh, the same one as before, with no clear reason or cause. “Look, Sherlock, I know what you’re thinking but I did not think-“ 

“John.” This time he said it with a more authoritative tone. A tone which made John stop still. A tone which almost commanded him to acknowledge Sherlock’s next words. 

“I… I have a theory.” 

John nodded slowly, taking a step closer, his eyes fixed on a point just to the side of Sherlock. 

Sherlock takes a step forward too but looks directly at John, his eyes fixed on John’s. 

“I have a theory and I need you to help me reach a conclusion.”

John raised his head to meet Sherlock’s gaze but his eyes did not follow. Sherlock took John’s hand into his, leaned forward and kissed him once more. It was like the rest of the world melted away. An overwhelming sense of relief filled John’s mind until he could not remember any feeling other than this causing him to just sink into Sherlock’s arms like they were the only place he felt complete.

Sherlock pulled away abruptly leaving John in shock which was soon replaced by a familiar panic. Staring into Sherlock’s eyes for a few seconds before returning his eyes to that spot on the wall. 

Sherlock also looked away, temporarily unable to speak, struggling to battle past a strange feeling which he did not recall ever having before. 

“That’s…umm…that’s what I thought yes. I appreciate your interest in me John but there’s something I must explain to you. I do feel what I think may…no. I do love you, John. I have done for a long time but you have to understand that I can’t give you what you want. Sex is of no value to me as I’m sure you already know. I am not capable of a conventional relationship and I never will be.” 

Sherlock’s eyes moved to meet John’s once again  
allowing him to see the expression on John’s face. An expression Sherlock could not decipher. Maybe shock, disbelief? Maybe amusement? Maybe he’d made a catastrophic mistake and John found this funny? 

“I appear to have have made a terrible miscalculation. I’m sorry.” It was a panicked and hasty attempt to rectify the situation. The best thing he could think to do was escape to his own room but the grip of a hand on his arm stopped him.

His expression unchanged, John looked Sherlock in the eyes. “Did you say that you…love me?” 

“Look, just forget it. I… I made a mistake.” 

John smiled. “God, for someone who claims to be a genius you really are an idiot.” He pulled Sherlock in to his arms and kissed him. It wasn’t like last time, it was quick and much less intense. They didn’t move apart this time. 

“Do you mean it Sherlock? Do you really mean it or is it just an act? It wouldn’t be the first time you’ve lied just to get me to say something nice.” 

“No.” 

John moved back. “No?”

“No, John. It’s not just an act.”

It was obvious what John should say. He should say that he loved Sherlock too but he just couldn’t manage to find the words. “I’m not good at this sort of thing. I have a lot of trouble telling people how I feel at the best of times but…” 

Sherlock looked down at him. “But what?”

“But you. I don’t…” John smiled. “If I say this and it turns out that this is some sort of joke I will kill you do you understand me?” But John’s last statement was less of a threat and more of a joke. 

They both laughed. Until John cleared his throat and corrected the tone by saying “No, seriously. Okay I should really just say it shouldn’t I?” He paused for a moment then finally said “I love you, Sherlock. I think I have for a while now but I never knew what to do about it.” 

That should have offered Sherlock some relief but his main question was still unanswered. “What about what I said, you know? About how I could never be in a conventional relationship. Does that not bother you?” 

“Sherlock when have I ever been interested in anything conventional, really. I never expected anything conventional from you. So no, it doesn’t bother me at all because…well because I love you. You do understand what I’m trying to say don’t you?” 

“I do.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading :) 
> 
> I don’t think I’ll write more of this but if people like it I could write more. 
> 
> Also if we could just pretend I ended that well


End file.
